Monday, June 4, 2012

Decision made

Yeah, it's been awhile.  Sorry about that.  The kids got sick again in mid-April, a doozy of an infection lasting several weeks over the three boys.  I swear next fall I am going to neti-pot, musinex, eucalyptus oil, zinc and vitamin C the heck out of my family at the first sign of a sneeze.  Whatever it takes, I am on it.

Benjamin's asthma doc decided it would be best if he had his tonsils out.  It will open up his airway and reduce the number of URIs he gets.  Kinda scary, but if it helps in the long run, great.  Of course I have been reading all about tonsillectomy horror stories on the internet, like any anxious mother worth her salt should do.  Right now the surgery is scheduled for June 13, but I will probably need to reschedule, because of ...  a decision we've made.

A decision we've been forced to make, really.  My job is likely to disappear in the next year or so.  I can't really go into the details, which would involve me cursing a lot.  I'd really like to, but I won't.  In any case, in April I was "warned" that my position was "on shaky ground" and that "something is going to happen" before the beginning of the next fiscal year.  Of course, back in February when I asked whether my position was in any danger of being eliminated, I was told 'No.'  Nothing like a cold dose of ambiguity to start your day.

So, I have to transfer.

Openings in my department pop up every few months or so. The whole hiring process takes about four weeks from the first day the position is posted.  So, that's four weeks of not knowing whether you have the job or not.  Four weeks of not knowing whether you will get to pull up stakes and move quickly, or whether you will have to wait for the next job that opens up.

The not-knowing thing drives me crazy.  It's hard to make plans, not knowing where we'll be in one month, three months, six months, etc.  I applied for one opening in late April, made it to the interview, but didn't get it.  Another opening was posted last week, and I sent in my application.  I'll get a call later this week for an interview, which will probably take place sometime next week.

The new job will mean more money, which is good.  But it means leaving a home and a community we love.  It means pulling the kids out of school and having them leave all their friends.  We've already sold the goats (to a farm three miles down the road), and I will have to find a home for the chickens.  And we will have to sort through everything we have accumulated in our ten years here, figuring out what to pack, what to toss, and what to give away.  (Garage sales don't work very well when you live ten miles from town.)  It means finding a temporary place to live in a new town.  It means getting approved for another mortgage, finding and buying a new home, and then trying to sell this house.  When I think about all of it, I am overwhelmed.

So, blog friends, that is why I haven't posted in so long.  Lots of changes in the air, lots of uncertainty.  And being the control freak that I am, I don't do well with uncertainty.  I'm trying to be very Zen about it.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.  Unless we are incredibly lucky and find another fourteen acre farmstead to live on, I will have to rename this blog.  We are trying to be optimistic.

Like I said, it's the not-knowing that kills me.  I feel like I'm in a holding pattern, circling above the airport waiting for clearance to land.  At this point I don't know when we'll land, and I don't know where we'll land.  I just hope I don't run out of fuel.


Erin said...

Ack, sorry you have to go through this. I sense you are like me though and now you know this next event is inevitable you are anxious to just get it done and on with it! I'll be praying that your family gets through it all smoothly and the house issues will not be too stressful. I'm already looking forward to what excitement is in store for you. From a military gal, don't worry about the kids, they will be just fine in a new place, it will just take a little time. Usually the problems I see with kids moving have to do with their parents not being involved in their lives and they are just floundering, definitely not the case with you so I know everything will work out for you. Any problems with your hubby transferring somewhere new or is he easily "transported" ? LOL...

Joelie said...

Noooooooo! I wish there were an alternative way you could do something you love and make enough $$$ to live from HERE! Prayers for a wise dcision. And, seriously consider homeopathy for warding of flu etc. There is a great one in Chaska.

Ladytats said...

best of luck with the new changes. it is always hard during the transition, but once things are set, it is easier to handle.

JizzleK said...

If you end up in southern/central wisconsin or nearby let me know.

Thistledog said...

Oh Jo, I would be overwhelmed, too. Here I am trapped in limbo and you're circling the airport without clearance to land, not sure what condition the runway's in. Gosh I feel for you, sister.

I'm going to add my thoughts and prayers to the pile for good outcomes for your family in this uncertain time. But my two cents on your blog name would be keep it just like it is - that place got you started and it is part of your blogger history. Plus, starting with a number One, it stays at the top of the lists sorted alphabetically - you can't beat that!

Fingers crossed here for you,

Karen said...

Oh Josie, you and I are so not comfortable with change beyond our control!!! I can soooo relate to what you are going through. The "holding pattern" for me was trying to sell the Woodbury house. I had very little control of when it was bought and for how much. But the result had such huge ramifications on our family that it drove me crazy trying to plan for it. Then, after eight months of trying and over 150 showings/open houses, we were considering renting the thing. I did NOT want to be a landlord and all of the crap involved with it. At the last possible moment we found a buyer with an okay offer that we could accept. We still haven't closed on it yet, so nothing is set in stone, but we're hoping for the best (June 20th!). I honestly believe that the same will happen for you and your family. The end result will be a good one. The entire process of getting ready and not knowing sucks, but the outcome will be good. Your boys will come out fabulously and you will probably move closer to Mom and Dad. This is huge and very good!!! You'll even move closer to us! I still think you should rent a house in town/out of town until your Ortonville house sells, thus freeing up more $$$ to qualify with. You can then buy some acreage where you will once again be very happy. Space around us is important to both you and me. I can't wait to not live on top of my neighbors. By the way, holler if you will be in town on the 15th or 16th...your hubby is the absolute best mover in the whole world and he doesn't actually mind doing it!!!!!! love that guy...!